one flew over the cuckoo's nest

Vintery, mintery, cutery, corn,

Apple seed and apple thorn,

Wire, briar, limber lock,

Three geese in a flock,

One flew East

One flew West

And one flew over the cuckoo's nest.

 

unacceptable: coming into the last downwind of the day in 9th place, pretty good shape, capsizing 200m out from the bottom mark, capsizing whilst gybing trying to get back to the mark, capsizing while gybing round the mark because i didn't commit fully. 13 boats, countless boatlengths, and ultimately a wasted race.

 

somehow, in the heat of the moment, i was raging and screaming, but an hour later i mellowed. people come by and ask 'so how'd you go' and i can't put on my 'pissed off' facade forever, so i smile weakly and converse. which sort of cheered me up. even when i want to be angry at myself.

 

lastly i feel daunted by how far i have to go. how many more hours i need in a decent weight of breeze. i sailed more than a hundred days in 2009 - imagine how many days i have to go out there and suffer the pain through the wind and waves before i can be competitive. 

 

it's more my downwind that needs work than my upwind, i feel. i can sort of see the way forward for my upwind speed - get heavier, stronger, fitter, coordinate weight, sheet and steering through the waves. that i can picture, that i can comprehend. downwind i feel so out of sorts, dictated by my overloaded rig, unsteady, rolling uncontrollably. i can't really see what it is that i should be doing differently. that scares me.

 

one time too many - phoenix.